Life is like that.
The trouble with life in the fast lane is that
Health is not valued until sickness comes. Three grand essentials of happiness are: -
The sore made by fire will heal
The trouble with being an expert is that
Smile is the shortest distance between two people. INSOMNIA: Much ado about nodding. Baby-sitter is a teenager who must behave like an adult
You cannot control the wind
You are young once
If dogs could talk
CONSCIOUSNESS: The annoying thing between naps. Footprints in sand of time
TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity. If there was no rock in the stream
If the world is getting smaller
Do not put off for tomorrow what you can do today
Opportunity knocks on your door
Speak the truth
Some folks never exaggerate
We cough to clear the lungs
The only thing we can remember about the speed of light
If Noah was truly wise
FASHION: When skirts go up
Ever had the feeling in life
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Many a child is spoiled because
Theories about bring up children
The second day of the diet is always easier
BUFFET: A French word meaning
The toughest stitch on a garment
Getting old is when it takes you longer to rest
By the time you think your parents were right
Hold your Childs hand every chance you get
Do not be so concerned with your rights
Do not dismiss a good idea simply because
They should put expiration dates on clothes
Nowadays when it comes to shocking reading matter
No one needs a vacation so much so
VACATION: Spending much money
TRUTH: Something stranger than friction
The ability to speak several languages is an asset
Education is what is leftover
To some the ideal occupation is one
Some people suffer in silence louder
The secret of success is to
People do not live by bread alone
Man is stronger than iron
Sometimes the fool who rushes in
I do not know what makes the boss tick
Infatuation like a common cold
If you don’t have a sense of humor
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LAUGHTER IS THE BEST
MEDICINE
Costumer: I want a haircut please.
Barber: Certainly sir, which one?
Sunitha: My dentist is going to take out my tooth on Saturday.
Asha: Gosh!! What some people will do for a date.
Who earns a living by driving customers away?
Taxi-drivers.
What job has plenty of openings?
A doorman’s.
I am THE BOSS and you are NOTHING!! What are you?
Nothing.
And what am I?
Boss over nothing.
Phew. You are next to an idiot.
Very well, I will move.
A women driving in Delhi stopped for a red light.
However when the lights changed she stayed right just there.
When she hadn’t moved after the lights had changed several times,
a policeman went over to her and asked politely
“ What’s the matter madam, don’t we have any colours you like?”
Customer: When I brought this cat, you told me he was good for mice.
But he doesn’t even go near them.
Pet shop owner: Isn’t that good for the mice?
Master carpenter: Son, you are certainly hammering those nails in
like lightning!
Apprentice: You mean I am fast?
Carpenter: Nope, you never strike in the same place twice.
Wife: Our next-door neighbor must be very poor.
Husband: Why do you say that?
Wife: You should have seen the fuss they made when their baby swallowed a penny.
Policeman: You cannot park here. Read that sign.
Driver: I did. It says, “Fine for parking.” So I parked.
Boastful Ram: My dad has Jawaharlal Nehru’s watch.
Sham: Oh! That’s nothing, my dad has Adams apple.
Wife: I just saw a cute little baby snake.
Husband: How did you know it was a baby?
Wife: Because it had a rattle, stupid.
Genetic Engineer: I have crossed a racehorse with a kangaroo.
Race fan: What’s so great about it?
Engineer: Now the jockey can ride inside comfortably.
Father spanking son: The only reason I am punishing you is because I love you.
Son: I am sure glad you don’t hate me.
Little Geetha: I have a stomachache.
Aunty: That’s because you haven’t eaten anything and it is empty.
Geetha: Now I know why uncle has headache all the time. His head must be empty too.
Ramu: We had our granny for dinner during Diwali last year?
Reema: Really!! We only had chicken.
Husband to wife wearing hair curlers: What have done to your head?
Wife: I have set it.
Husband: That’s great. When does it go off?
Mother: Do you know a girl named Mary?
Daughter: Yes mum, she sleeps next to me in geography class.
Little Dinggu after watching the baby cry loudly for sometime:
Did baby brother come from heaven?
Mother: Yes son.
Dinggu: I don’t blame the angels for chucking him out.
Helen: I have taken horse riding to reduce weight.
Monika: Does it work?
Helen: So far I have taken 25 pounds off the horse.
Alice: Do not be scared. Barking dogs don’t bite.
Tonny: You mean he never barks when he is biting.
Explorer ready for a swim in the Lagoon:
Are you sure there are no crocodiles in there?
Native: Sure, no crocodile. Sharks scare then away.
Policeman: You cannot Fish here.
Kid: I am not fishing I am giving my pet worm a bath.
Doctor to crying child: I am just going to take your pulse that’s all.
Sobbing kid: But don’t I need it.
Mother: Why are you looking in the mirror with your eyes shut?
Kid: I want to see how I kook when I am asleep.
Grandma: Do you want to see cuckoo come out of the cuckoo clock?
Grandchild: I’d rather see grandpa come out of the grandfather clock.
Yoga Instructor: Can you stand on your head?
Student: I tried, but I couldn’t get my feet high to stand on my head.
Dad: What did I say I would do if I caught you smoking again?
Son: That’s funny dad, I can’t remember either.
A women standing in front of the Hippo’s cage asked the attended:
Is your Hippo male or female?
Attendant: That is a question that should only interest another Hippo.
Old man: So you are related to the family next door.
Kid: Distantly sir. Their dog is our dog’s brother.
Judge: Order! Order! Order in the court.
Prisoner: Ham and cheese sandwich please.
Sonu: I have changed my mind.
Seena: Good. Does it work better now?
Dad: I slept like a log last night.
Young child: I know dad, I heard you sawing it.
* Know your teeth * Know your Gums (Gingiva) * Eruption Dates * Six Golden Rules * Brushing\Flossing Technique * Wisdom tooth * Tooth Decay * Extraction * Dental Implant * Surgical Extraction * Orthognathic Surgery * Asymmetry of the face * Gummy Smile * Prognathism{Long Jaw} * Beggs\Straight wire{Orthodontia} * Bleaching{Tooth Whitening} * Habit Breaking * Interceptive Orthodontics * Discolouration\Veneers * Composite\Amalgam Fillings * Root Canal Treatment{RCT} * Crown{Porcelain\Castmetal} * Flap Surgery/Splinting * Bridges{Porcelain\Castmetal} * TMJ (Joint) Disorders * Bell's Palsy {Facial Paralysis} * Ankylosis{Difficulty in mouth opening} * Cleft Lip and Palate * Trigeminal Neuralgia * In a Lighter vein
updated Aug2002.